i chose you. chapter11

Dedicated to @TweetyJay_, n7bik.<3
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I kept staring at the screen for 10 minutes, we.need.to.talk.
this is not good, i feel it.
saud noticed how pale i was, he looked at me and said: 7beebti feek shai?
me*trying to smile* la abd wla shai.

me: sure. where?
khalid: beach,
me: our spot?
khalid: yeah.
me: ok, see you there.<3
he didn't even reply, bismellah..
terrified couldn't describe how i was, i literally ran to the beach ignorning saud and sara voices around me. i don't even remember what it took me to get there, i just did.
i saw him standing there, the look on his face was priceless, he seemed like he has just seen a ghost. i walked slowly to him.
me: hai..
khalid: hey.
i stared at him, b3dain? he is really freaking me out.
suddenly he blurted out.
khalid: that saud, is he saud alx?
that's saud's family name, so i nodded silently, not knowing what's next.
khalid: hanouf, i'll ask you a one question and please,*sighing* please answer honestly.
me*nervously* go ahead..
he kept silent for about 5 minutes and when he finally talked, i heard that question that i was always afraid he is going to ask..
khalid:*staring at me* are you engaged?
i couldn't act, i couldn't speak, it's like my tongue got tied suddenly.
khalid: answer me!
me*whispering* yes....
i looked up at him and he was staring emotionlessly at me.
me: khalid... please say anything...
khalid: what do you want me to say hanouf?*screaming* do you even know how stupid i look now in front of my mother now?
me: y-your mother?
khalid: yes! my mother! me being stupidly in love i asked my mother about your family, i searched and searched for your family's numbers and begged my mother to call yours so i can*smiling sarcastically* propose, and do you know what they told her? they told her that their daughter is practically married now! so all the time you weren't mine, and it was all a lie right? you're just using me...
me*almost crying* i wasn't! i really love you khalid!
khalid: don't, i've had already with your lies.
me: please don't tell me this is the end....
he stared at me, i knew he was broken from the look he gave me, and it shuttered me to pieces, i love him, i really freaking do..
khalid: what do you want me to say hanouf?*sighing* you're really thinking i will accept this and go around being your 'second guy'? the one you're cheating on saud with?..

you aren't, i WAS cheating with you on saud...
me: believe me you aren't my second guy, you never was.
we went silent, i honestly lost track of time, i was in my own deep thoughts.
khalid*sighing* so i guess this is goodbye, i already booked a flight back to riyadh.
i couldn't help but cry, this is real, this is our end.. i cried and cried and he stood there staring at me, i guess he didn't know what do right then...
after half an hour i guess i was still crying, he pulled me to his arms and hugged me, i continued non-stopping crying and whispered against his chest 'i love you.'
i felt his heartbeats getting quicker and quicker, he loves me more, i'm sadly sure of that.
he let me go later on, i didn't want him to, i just want to stay forever in his arms.
he started to walk away, no no no i'm still not ready, i still want to talk to him!
i walked quickly behind him and faced him: khalid...
he looked at me sadly: what?
me*tearing again* i'm going to miss you.
i got closer and kissed him for the last time, a long sad kiss, my tears were heavily falling, i felt his tears too, galbi...
he pulled away and cupped my cheeks: goodbye hanouf.
and left, simply left.
i walked back to the hotel, my tears didn't stop falling, i'm sure i looked like a freak but who cares, i no longer care, about everything.
as soon as i stood my foot into our room i was welcomes by saud and sara's screaming, but they quickly stopped when they saw my face, saud came and hugged me tightly: what's wrong?*whispering*
i didn't reply and they sensed i wasn't in the mood to even talk, an hours later i went to my room and laid on my bed.
overthinking, what's khalid doing now? is he okay? where is he? am i supposed to talk to him now or what? i don't know..
i grabbed my phone and quickly read his tweets:
"What happened to us? We were almost there."
" ولا تسوى حياتي شي من بعدك"
" i love you. and i will always do."
and a lot more tweets, my heart ached as i read every single tweet he tweeted, remember when he sang to me 'ya3ni 5ala9'? well, i hope he remembers, because i tweeted:
" يعني خلاص مافي امل ترجع تداويلي الجروح؟:')'
"sometimes love isn't enough."
a minutes after i tweeted he blocked me, can you believe it? he blocked me from twitter, whats app, Kik, literally everything.
Right then i knew i lost him. right then i knew i'm never going to be happy again.
Right then i realized, i've loved once in my life, and it was the wrong guy.